touched

i speak to you at times

rifts in an already small pond

my mind, so blank

my life... hollow, touched, sinned and not yet forgiven

-rooj

*and lots of people to tell me its okay. mite as well tell em to stop lying their ass off :D

im nthng more

http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/staind/epiphany.html

falling, failing, flaying... F-ing!

u see me

not the nexus in my nullity

smiling at me

without knowing tht my being

suffers and ails and hurts

and my breath, aches to be free...

once, for ever.

-rooj

Prelude till the Finale

So the story goes like this: once upon a time, there lived a girl who loved a boy and the boy loved her back. he courted her, got her the best of everythng and in turn the girl was forever loyal to him. they got married *with all the blessings, offcourse* and had kids who turned out amazing and had grandkids who they loved and adored and spolied. when it time for the boy to die, the girl prayed to God to take her instead since she loved him oh so very much and just cdnt live without him. God looked down at the couple, decided they were too much in love and even He cdnt bear to keep them apart for it tore everybdy's heart. so He, instead, told them to pack their belongings and shift to the never never land where death cdnt touch them and they wud live there happily forever. but the boy sed tht their home was special since they had built it together and he can never think of going anywhere else but here. and so, God thought. He thot about everythng he cud do for them and then thot some more.

the next day when they woke up, time had frozen, everything stood still. trees didnt move, leaves didnt rustle. an angel peeked in. everybody had frozen where they were. boy... girl. kids... grandkids. everybody. shocked tht the world was about to end, the angel flew. high above, wings spread like an eagle's, it flew and flew till the seventh sky was finally beneath it. there, God sat with His eyes full of tears. stunned, the angel didnt know wht to do. it backed away till the very end and slipped past the edge. falling down, it was still in shock. he hit the skies below, crashing through all floors and turning all heads. so shocked was it, tht the wings never quite opened and it never quite flew. crashing on earth, the angel died.

now normally wen the angels die, they breakup into a million stars, each tiny and beautiful. it didnt happen. time had stood still. the angel crashed and lay there. God didnt look down. He had tears in His eyes. the angel just lay there. he just freakin lay there...

i have no idea wht the greatest tragedy is. the frozen couple who were so in love tht they had to be frozen together for all eternity to be immortal, or the fact tht they cud never see each smile now.

or the angel whose fate got sealed because of two earthlings, a fate hurtful beyond measure, a destiny snatched away, a life wasted without quite knowing why

or tht the God had tears in His eyes.

why is it tht no matter what good we do, it turns up against somebody or the other. why is it tht love destroys so much and why is it tht we crave happiness when we know tht in its throes is sadness

i hate it. i hate him. i hate her.