Without me?
wud it all be gewd without me?
i ask myself
wud it all go away then?
wud it not bother him wat i get in return?
wud it be easy fer people that way??
hard and hard it gets every day, and it messes up even more. there are times when it just feels weird. it kinda gets to me that way. when you lose smthng u cannot replace. when you love somebody but it goes to waste. cold play is sooooooooo freakingly gewd man. and this is all cuming out in a jimble. heheheee. think of the gewd times and i cannot still sleep without the godamn donkey. shit man. and i wanted him to cum and say hi too. asshole! not as if i was on a fckng date or smthng. khair, time! smbdy told me the other day tht wen u make plans, life happens! hhahahaaa.. funny man. life happening. almost like the birth of a child, or the death of one for tht matter. his friend died like mine did. minute differences. i can feel wat he felt. it feels weird to see smbdy die that way. it feels awkawrd to lose smbdy who had been so close to you before. they tell me, we heal after it, that it only makes us feel stronger. and then they are the one who cry at every freakin breakup :) mighty support that is. lol. but i like him. kinda feels nice to like him. kinda protected. and hollow. he makes me conscious. i do stpd stuff arnd him. and he makes fun of me. i read up stff so tht i wudnt luk stpd infrnt of him. he's very intelligent. he's one of the four people i pray for every night. and he is so out of reach dat it hurts like hell. but i'll live.
