evn tym ditchd him...
Isn’t it amazing how in one second time changes everything, a single glance can mean so much… isn’t it just amazing how small things matter a lot and that so much can happen in so less time…
… And he just sits over there lost in his own thoughts, forlorn… a guitar in his lap. Maybe he knows how to play the forgotten instrument, maybe he doesn’t. He looks up suddenly, as if awakened from a dream, snapped out of an idea and his gaze flies to his surroundings. "Is anyone watching me?" he thinks. Satisfied that everyone is busy in their own thing; he bends his head again. Time is taking him away from his own self, his soul is being snatched away, and his life is being turned into a pathetic waste dump. "Oh shit!", but it is not an exclamation. It’s just a sigh of defeat… as if he’s taken his leave from life now. He just doesn’t have anymore strength left in him to fight against the odds that outnumber him. These people sitting with him are his true friends… well… supposed to be his true friends. They don’t even register the fact that one of them is not actually in their family. Some one cracks a joke and shouts of laughter follow it.
This time, he doesn’t even look up.
Time melts and merges into darkness; the sun sets; the skies change from bright yellow to dull gold orange. This is an evening to remember. In the dull light, a shadow as pathetic as his could never be forgotten. Alone on the beach, the sands go with the waves into an unknown territory. They follow the crashing waves and quench their thirst. They lose themselves! The quiet soul sits there, watching and watching and watching. He has no idea how he is going to go back to his home. He drank way over his head this time. He’s actually drunk!!! "I’m drunk! God!!…" what God?, he asks himself. His brain is numb and his mind refuses to answer. His soul is all lost… right at this moment, he is not worth the life he’s been bestowed with.
It is so dark now and he has to go home. His parents would be waiting for him. No, his mom would be waiting for him. His dad is going to be out at this time in one of his extremely "important" meetings. Since his childhood, he’s been trying to figure out why these meetings could never go on without his father, "dad doesn’t run the whole fucking world!" He is disgusted with his chain of thoughts. "shit!", he whispers in the wind. "shit!!", he fairly shouts at something… "oh shit", he lost everything…
He has to go home… he has to go home… the lullaby continues… how? Oh! He remembers now… he… yeah… he came on a bike… God! For one second he had completely lost it… he laughs… an ugly whisper really… come on man! Get up! His brain cells work… dully… maybe too dully…
An eternity later, his is finally on his way home. He can’t remember how he found his bike and sat on it, much less started it! Well… it doesn’t matter!… he’s flying and that feels great… such speed!… a thrill surges through his blood stream… more speed, I need more speed!… power… yes! A power to control his own life! A power to kick his dad out and make them stay out… a power to give his mother safety… a power to have courage! The speed rises…power! Power!! The brain screams… power! Power!! His heart pumps…
The bike is off the road now going into the green belt. Going and going… where are the brakes? Oh! Here they are! Yay! But he doesn’t need the brakes!… it is the speed he craves and the power he wants… he cannot stop… not now… not when he finally has the power to rule…
And he never saw the streetlight… bang! And it all ended… there and then… it all ended!
The 23 years of his life all gone in a pool of blood… like the sand gets mixed in the waves… but even the grains of the sand had an incentive… what did he have? Nothing… nothing at all! His body lay there, the color of human blood lost in the eerie darkness of the night… the wheels of the bike still going round and round, the front light still blinking… time took a last look at him and flew… it had taken everything from him… the dreams, the hopes and even his life now… and when it came to his body, the time just flew away…
*rooj*
At the last moment, even the time ditched him!
