i know if i go through the test set out before me, yet again. i'm scared and i don't know where to turn to. its difficult once you decide to do all on your own. its tedious. its haphazard. and in the end, u always compete with urself; which by the way, sux.

i remember this one time, a couple of years ago when i was telling one of my friends to 'just let go" of the situation and it will right itself according to some cosmic law. today, when i try to take my own advice, i can't. is it because i know the outcome? just like always, i might add. boldly. i always know how things are going to end up. i guess everybody can see in the future. we all know how and where we'll end up. when is the question. anyway, i know. its weird, but like some dogged cause, ill go after it again and again and again, knowing each time wht the outcome will be. is it strange? i know not. all i know is: each time i try to let things go, they are hurled towards me with such force tht leaves me gasping.

now, the heart of the matter is, i don't want to go to wherever im expected to be. i feel like my hamster: forever on the wheel, never really achieving anything of substance. i don't want to be the person im going to be once i see you. im sorry. i am. but i just cant do it. even though i will.

this little girl, in a land not so far away, fell in love with a boy who was everything she'd imagine. she couldn't believe her luck at first. today, torn and splintered to smithereens, she still can't believe it. she's broken so bad, she doesnt know how to heal herself. imagine tht!

While teaching a bunch of randy 10 yr olds, the word "Miracle" came up. many definitions were tried, dictionaries were opened and brains were rummaged {read: pillaged} but their minds just couldn't wrap around the concept of a miracle. It was funny; i knew exactly what made a miracle, but i couldn't give that example!

Finally, we thought of a really old, sick man on the death bed in a lonely hospital room who suddenly gets better one fine day! Thus, the word "miracle" was established along with "immaculate" and many others.

wish the hands of the clock could be turned back by a miracle.

.

Only I can get my heart broken whilst asleep and wake up weeping from a dream, clutching the last vestiges of a faithless smoke screen.
Only I can, then, squeeze my eyes shut and pray fervently for my mind to drift back to that believable haze so I can convince you not to leave.
Only I, who has helped a hundred, can find myself unable to sever and erase the past tense from my memory.
Only I, can be this 'morbid'.

Kaisay kuch loag bichartay hain...

I feel like a tree tht's thick n strng n tall, frevr close to the sun bt nvr to the ground below where new spring flowr saps wud b birthd in a bed of forevr dewy grass n marshy land. I feel ive missd out on important thngs whyl being tht tree, tht grew up tall in the first place to stop the sun frm takng the dew. I feel exhausted n cheated.

Champions Trophy 09

Aus vs Eng (1st semi)

Commentator: So, did u always say "please" and "thankyou" in ur time?

Ravi Shastri: only in Pakistan where there arn't any neutral umpires

< yo, ravi, man, i hope us Pakistanis fuckd u gud n proper bck tht time jst like v did ths tournament. No wondr u stil remembr wht v were like. Fckng assholes. What a bunch ov sore losers u guys are! >

I loathe you. But I loathe myself even more.